We have our great times still, but most of the time i know you're not liking me either.
Sometimes i just don't want to talk okay? I just needed to be alone. But not completely.
I just needed someone beside me, i need to feel someone's heat keeping me warm in this cold cruel world.
You have your own friends you need to hang out with.
And i'm pushed aside, do you even notice me when i'm beside you?
We're stuck on the wrong side of the fence.
You made your choice, there's nothing that i can do.
It hurts so much when you don't have a friend.
But that's my fault. I just deal with things that i can't open up to anyone about anymore.
I need to leave alone now. Please don't try to follow me. There's a reason i only opened up when you started to talk about a relative topic. I'm sorry. We had a strong bond. But doesn't mean we need a stronger one to be together. Just because we have a strong bond, doesn't mean we're not going to be apart. I thought you'd know. Guess i'm too dumb to face that fact as well.
And you,
You're obsessive. Let it be. Just because you KNEW her, doesn't mean that you have to make it hard on her at every single wrong thing she does, it gets, and it is annoying. If you say that's not who you are, how come you keep scolding me for what she did. You don't have to scream at MY ear if you want her to listen to you. Again, i am just used. a replacement. Last Resort.
I'm not shocked. I knew it was coming. But why am i complaining?
[sorry i have to write this fina, but this is for my dad. I'm not trying to give your mom an F bomb. Sorry if you feel offended. Non was intended.]
In other complaints
I have to remind myself that i don't get along with my dad well. I have to remind myself that I, MYSELF don't care what other people thinks. And he does. [Orang UMNO la katekan.]
You know what, daddy? I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ALL THE FIGHT THAT GOES ON BETWEEN YOU AND FINA'S MOM! SO WHAT KALSU DIE 'FITNAH' AYAH? AYAH KISAH SGT APEHAL? IF DIE FITNAH AYAH, MAKI HAMUN AYAH, KUTUK AYAH BURUK MANE PON, TAK KISAH LA MAK FINA KE BUKAN? DIORG YANG BUAT DOSA. you can try and clear your name, but complaining to your not even 15 years old daughter who doesn't care won't change a thing daddy-o. Jangan jadi BOWDOW! Ayah gaduh ngan mak or bapak siape pon kat UMNO or anywhere else, i don't care. It's non of my business. PEOPLE, LET IT GO! AND IF YOU DON'T, I'LL SMACK YOU IF YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL SORROW.
PS: if you wanna get sulky with me, can you think logically first? Botol dah jatuh baru nak tersengeh? BITCH! I just wanna walk faster you asshole. Pergi toilet je, tak payah macam nak babi. I AM SICK of being nice, I AM SICK of saying it's no one's fault. I'm putting my new year's resolution aside, and i'm blaming people again. and lastly, I AM SICK of taking the blame, not that i ever do it when it comes to you, you sulky asshole. YOU'RE A SULKHOLE!
You know, you can still talk to me, all i needed to do was walk faster so that i can sit and eat properly and try my best not to complain about my stupid ulcers. our time is still limited. rehat still has the same amount of time. no matter how slow you go, the time wont follow. live it, learn it, eat it. plant in that thick skull of yours. You know, out of all the 'Ngahs' i know, only one is cool enough for me to put up with. No, she's not cool enough, she never even pissed me off even since i knew her better. And you are not HER! And you wanna know why you're so bitter? Cause everytime you're with your friends, you ONLY TALK ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS. no, i'm not saying we should talk about each other's problems. I'm saying that YOU ONLY TALK ABOUT PROBLEMS! you bring back the memories that makes you mad! you keep reminding yourself about the things you hate! why do you think i don't like to talk about my problems, and that i only let it go when i need to, and when i need to is when it's burning in my heart and i feel like God never hears my cry. Sorry if i hurt you, i meant to. I know you're going to scream at me with your super nyaring voice, but i'm gonna leave as soon as you hit the first so called 'note'. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!
This town's too big, if you 'run around' like you do.
This is not for YOU but i just think this line [that i made up] is really cool.
You know when parents advice their kids about when it comes to making friends you have to choose the right ones? Yeah, you're not one of them.
As i get older, i get more bitter.
I need another best friend.
Someone that's just like me.
Crazy, don't care what other people think, say, etc.
Joyous. Musical. Parent's approved!
Amen, Amen!
Note: I do let go. I don't want to feel bitter. But somehow i do. That's why i'm feeling sorrow, being confused for so long turns you that way. But it all comes back to haunt me, In The End.
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