I'l Cry Alone

Not letting anyone see me through. You may not open up as easily as SHE does, but sure do open up too much to me. IT GETS DISGUSTING, BORING, HEART ACHING AND PLAIN ANNOYING!

did i ask to know? YOU SYMPATHY BEGGER! you are a SYMPATHY BUM!

when you cry, you ask..no, you SCOLD me and say that i should say something to comfort you. DO YOU KNOW HOW ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC YOU SOUND?

and when i ask you what SHOULD i say? you say i don't know. SEE? EVEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOURSELF IF YOU WERE IN MY PLACE!

get a life. you may have one, so, get a BETTER one. try sleeping ALONE without having to be pissed for once. I feel sorry for kak athi, she had to put up with you for a much longer period than i do. One thing i look up to her for. She told me

'When we were living in Lojing Heights, she kept scolding me, RESPECT MY ROOM, DON'T MAKE IT YOUR OWN, IT'S MY ROOM.'

But akak, didn't you realize? It wasn't your room? It was you and kak athi's room. Lojing Heights only had 3 rooms, so the room you were staying in was under both of your names. Now, we're in Wangsamas, we each have our own frickin room. Heck, UNCLE SYAWAL HAS HIS OWN ROOM AND HE'S JUST THE DRIVER! There's even a guest room, douchypoo!

So, now I can say what you said to kak athi, and there's nothing wrong about the meaning of the sentence. Cause IT IS my room, you have your own! And you know what makes it worse? You feel scared to go down and sleep there even when we use your room for Quran reading! We have 4 cats! bring them ALL into your room, and if you still feel scared, then i can't help you. and i certainly WON'T help you by letting you stay in my room. Too late for that uh?

And if you say, 'Who told you to invite me in when i was kicked out of kak athi's?'

Let me remind you of what happened that day, my dear narrow minded sister.

You had a big fight with kak athi. And that time, i despised her. She was an asshole. But now i know why she became that way. I didn't know what was coming. You were crying your eyes out, who wouldn't have a heart good enough to let you in. and maybe even make you SHUT UP! Lucky me!

Oh yeah, after you ask that question do you ever think, like. Why were you asking the question? And if i wasn't me but instead an outsider just reading this blog i'd say because the girl who owns the room wants you OUT! when you ask it, the answer was already there? why would you ask it if there wasn't any conflict?

And since i'm the youngest i can't talk back? So, just because you're older than me, you can talk back to your own mom? You can swear any time possible? Heck, since you're over 20 why don't you just LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY ALREADY?!

I regret growing old. I would ask for my immaturity back. Do you think i like, or don't care if you swear? Or how you say the names of your private parts out loud like it sounds clean and not disgusting at all? YOU MAKE ME SICK. and it's your fault that i'm SICK of you! and do you think that i even give a damn about you and your keling boyfriend?

When you scold me when i hit you about making fun of joe you say 'Why are you so sensitive? Just because of that Christian, you want to hit me?!'

WHAT ABOUT YOU HUH? YOU CRY YOUR EYEBALLS OUT FOR A KELING WHO WON'T EVEN CONVERT TO ISLAM FOR YOU! And you know that! Why the hell are you still wasting your time on that piece of crap. As of right now, i don't care what you do, Murtad or get pregnant or whatever, as long as you LEAVE ME ALONE!

You know, I'm actually doing you a favor by talking back. I'm making you have less sins. Rather than let you swear at me, and accusing me of the wrong things, and making the other people in the house mad and get tons of sins, i talk back because you wouldn't listen. So that you'd stop those things you do. And you keep screaming in all you do! So i scream back at you! I'm not saying i'm better than you cause well, IT'S TOO OBVIOUS TO KNOW!

Oh yeah, another thing, WHY THE HELL ARE YOU STILL TELLING ME TO CONTINUE MY GUITAR CLASSES? I DON'T WANT TO AND THAT'S FINAL!

you say that dad always tries to make you change your mind and you tell me that your thoughts are final. Look at YOU! you're doing the same thing! You're turning fat, useless, and stupid just like HIM! well, daddy's more useful than YOU ARE! Illogical, Irrational and just plain STUPID!! It's been more than 3 months since my last class, LEAVE IT BE, WOMAN! I already KNOW how to play the guitar. Why don't YOU go to the classes instead of me, see how YOU feel when you have to be alone with a man in a small room playing an instrument that can make any girl's heart melt especially when the guy playing it is a Jonas.

STUPID FAT PIG FROM HELL, GO BACK! GO BACK!