Monday, December 14, 2009

Taylor Lautner on SNL Highlights!

**Christmas Show Skit

Taylor - Micash
Dude [i dont know his name]

Dude: Micash are you gay?
Micash: Yes.
Dude: Micash, do you know that gay means happy?
Micash: Yes.
Dude: So you're happy?
Micash: No.
Dude: Then why did u say yes?
Micash: ooh, i got nervous.

Random dude from the crowd: IM GONNA KILL YOU MICASH!

**Twilight Fight Skit.

Taylor- Marianna [a girl, wearing team edward tshirt]
Other girl- Elly [wearing team jacob tshirt]

Marianna: Umm, i don't wanna work with her either Mr. Armstrong.
Mr. A: why not?
M: how can i ever trust her scientific conclusions, if she prefers Jacob, to Edward? Jacob smells, like a WETDOG.

E: well, if we're gonna need to work together, then we'll have to make a truce.
M: What's the truce?
E: if you promise not to despairage[i think] my beautiful jacob, i'll promise not to mention ur moody, over gelled, girlfriend.
M: no, edward is...EDWARD IS A BOY!
E: then why does he sparkle like a princess' tiara?

Mr. A: that's enough, now the both of you come to the front of the class and debate team edward and team jacob once and for all. Marianna, you go first.
M: thank you Mr. A. Love! What is it? Can it be planned? or is it faded? i believe it is. and the moment i heard edward say..

*flips and puts the notebook that had edwards picture which she was holding all the time in front of her face*

M: i don't have the strength to stay away from you anymore. *puts down notebook and holds it in her arms* i knew we'd be together.
Student: you really think that u're gonna end up with a fictional vampire from twilight?
M: not think...know. *pouts, and smooches with edwards picture for about 2 seconds.*
Mr. A: marianna, what are you doing?
M: im sorry, notebooks are for notes, not for kissing...

Elly's turn.
E: i remember a time in my life when i too loved edwad cullen when jacob was nearly a blimp on my radar screen then, something changed, maybe i changed? but mostly, jacob changed. when he took off his shirt in new moon, i saw the changes and i was like 'yes, i wanna bake cookies on your tummy'
M: those are fake abs.
E: these are not fake abs
M: they are too fake they're CGI just like the wolves.
E: these are real, these abs are real.
M: if those were real then,...the dude who plays jacob deserves an oscar!
E: yeah, he does deserve an oscar.

**Recording Session Skit
Taylor- Football Quarterback

Dude: What are you doing?
Taylor: I'm imagining that I'm selling women's watch on QGC. [i forgot the acronyms but there's a q in it.]

**Yoghurt Shop Skit

some of taylor's lines, it's too long.

"It's a rubber ball. Yeah, sometimes when i get nervous i like to squeeze a ball read hard....real hard...makes me feel better."
"the hobbit from Lord of the rings? yeah. he's my bestfriend. i'm really into hobbits, because, im also kinda unusually hairy."

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